First Kiss: Ten Reasons Girls Should Never Kiss Boys

1. At what age did you experience your first boy-girl kiss? Mine was at the age of six. However, the beneficiary of my affection was not a happy camper. I knew this how? Because, after I tackled him, I plastered smooches all over his face. His arms were flapping up and down and the weight of my body on top of his kept him from running away. Parents, save yourself and your daughter some embarrassing moments.
   
   Ten Reasons Why Girls Should Never Kiss Boys:
   
   1. You don’t know what he had in his mouth before he came to school.
   
   2. Your daughter’s teacher is filming the first day of school and the kissing incident becomes the leading story on the six-0-clock news.
   
   3. His father MIGHT be the principal of the school.
   
   4. His father IS the chief of police.
   
   5. The boy will bite her nose.
   
   6. The boy’s parents will take you to court for assault.
   
   7. Your daughter will be expelled from kindergarten.
   
   8. Her teacher will make you come to the class room and write on the blackboard 100 times: “I will never rip film from the teacher’s camera again.”
   
   9. You will be banned from the PTA.
   
   10. Last but not least your daughter will develop a kissing phobia that will send the entire family into therapy for five years.
   
   This is based on a true story. The real reasons have been changed to protect the guilty. It may be necessary for parents to warn their daughters that kissing can cause cooties. However, when she turns twelve, you will have to explain why you lied.

Write it down,

Carma

Is There Such a Thing as Wasted Time?

Much of what went on here at my computer today was wasted time. Have you ever felt like that? I began reading, scrolling, perusing emails and opening attachments around 11 a.m. Ever since the arrival of "post-meno" happened, there are days when my mind just has a mind of its own and decides to go on an adventure.

It is now 3 p.m. I glanced at the pile of snail mail and it was still there. So I went back to reading email after email, link after link and before I knew it I had ten sites open and was about ten links deep into each one. But they were all so good and I needed this information for my writing research.

Here’s the thing. None of this was doing me any good because I wasn’t writing. I was dreaming and thinking about writing. However, not everything was wasted.

Sharing with Writers Newsletter by Carolyn Howard Johnson and Authors’ Coalition Friends is a fantastic place for writers to go to and I am going to nominate Sharing with Writers Newsletter for the Writer’s Digest 101 best newsletters. ("To subscribe to 'Sharing with Writers' send an e-mail to HoJoNews@aol.com with 'subscribe' in the subject line.")

I ran across this humorous story at Authors Coalition to share with you and I laughed. I hope you do too.

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race, and it won again.

The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas;...... the Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY?? Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery, and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life... stop worrying about everyone else's ass, and you'll live longer and be a lot happier!*

Write it down,

Carma

Survival of the Fittest

A section of the fence in my back yard is directly up against one of our neighbors fences. This has created a small hollow space between the two fences, which has been the birthplace for a number of cats. I always know when there is a new litter because my Lab Rocky starts spending a lot of time sniffing at the fence.

I am a cat lover but I do not have time to take care of a multitude. When these cute little fur balls venture out of their sanctuary, wobbling on 4 little stubs of fur, who can blame anyone for not being able to resist such cuddly and cute objects of affection?

My 6 year old granddaughter came running into the house carrying a long drooping corrugated black plastic tube about 5 ft long. The tube was wobbly and bouncing around as she frantically tried to explain to me what was inside the tube. “Grandma the kittys stuck, and can’t get out”. The limp black tube was covered in spider webs and dust so I quickly turned her and the tube around to the deck outside.

I wiggled the floppy corrugated tube gently but it just bobbed up and down. I could feel that something was inside. Tiny scratching sounds and muffled meows could be heard. Out tumbled a little black and white kitty. No sooner had it tumbled out than it ran under the wood pile. Like an ostrich with its head in the sand, the little kitty’s bottom half was not moving while the top half was covered by the wood.

All the while my big lab dog Rocky had been on our heels chomping at the bit trying to get these little babies. Granddaughter is crying. I am yelling at Rocky. Out tumbles two more little puffs of fur from the bobbing tube, one orange and one brindle. Rocky’s ears and tail point upward as he pounced. However, the kitty was a little too quick for him. In the blink of an eye, the orange puff of fur leaped off the deck into the pond. The little thing was fleeing for its life. It had become Survival of the Fittest.

The world was coming to an end according to my granddaughter, who was wailing. By this time my husband heard the scuffle and came out just in time to see the kitty swimming for his life and scooped him up. Now we had 3 little kittys being scattered in all different directions and Rocky was bouncing from one to the other and almost succeeding. I picked the limp corrugated tube up and as I swung it around out flies a white kitty. I have never seen a kitty or cat walk on air before.

The end result was 2 kittens scooted to the neighbors yard, 1 soaking wet kitten scrambled back inside the fence and the fate of the other kittens are unknown but I am sure they are hunkered in deep somewhere. The most fit is not always the biggest.

Write it down,

Carma

Passion Wears Me Out

I have written about passion before but I feel it needs to be revisited. You may be living your passion, but for some of us, we are not so sure. Passion runs deep and often begins in childhood. Take a mental trip into your childhood. What did you dream or fantasize about? Identify what is more important to you. This means values. Make a list of things you deeply want

Dig down real deep to get to the core of your being. Do you see yourself making world changing contributions to society through your work? I often dream about becoming a philanderer, I mean philanthropist. Yes I would give away my money, if I had a lot, but after raising five kids, I’m plum tapped out.

When you were in grade school what did you fantasize about? When I played basketball out in the back yard, I would pretend that I was the star of the team and the crowd would go wild and yell, “Go Carma Go!!!” My mother once told me that when I was a toddler, I would shove other kids out of the way so I could be first.

Do you know how to find all the possibilities that await you? Research, ask questions and read a lot. I am not sure about the possibilities part but research is a great way to broaden your intelligence. Today while I was researching a subject for an article, I discovered little known facts, (at least to me), that soy ink is used in 90% of all American newspapers.

To learn if a particular career is right for you there are ways you can try it out. Get a temporary job in your dream career or shadow someone for a day or two. I like the word “shadow”. It makes me feel a little covert.

This passion stuff wears me out.

What do you enjoy so much that you would do it for free? Whatever that is, then that… IS your passion. Start doing what you love and the money will follow.

Isn’t that what we, as writers are doing? We are following our passion first, money is second. If you need money while you are following your passion, you may have to take a (gulp) job.

I made light of the seriousness of finding your passion, but we cannot take ourselves too seriously, however, we should take our career seriously. There is a difference. Did you get it?

Write it down,

Carma

BLow YOur DRess UP COntest

Lisa Gates from Design Your Writing Life made a great discovery about a new writing contest. Shelly Kneupper of This Eclectic Life is running it. The name of the contest blows me away. It is This Blog Blows My Dress Up. Hurry to enter because the deadline is June 15.

If you like wit and humor and good story telling then you need to go here.

Write it down,
Carma