Paradoxical Commandment #10

I do want to apologize to you all if I caused you any unnecessary clicking by my absence. The important issue is I am going to post the final Paradoxical Commandment. Number Ten.

Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

This commandment sounds crazy. Who in their right mind would want to get kicked in the teeth more often than they do already? Are you a glutton for punishment?

Come to think about it, what kind of person does not give their best? Certainly not you, the writer, designer, parent, or business person. We all give our best and if we get kicked in the teeth are we willing to continue giving our best?

Why would anyone want to give their all just to be knocked down? Because the bottom line is, if you are not giving your best in this world what world are you saving it for? This is it guys, when you leave this world there are no more chances to “get it right”.

Recognition. I recently wrote this word down as something that I desire from my peers, family and community. But I am discovering that recognition and applause do not provide as much meaning as loving and helping others.

Yes appreciation is desired by all of us but a person who craves applause will focus on the applause instead of meeting the needs of others. Not everyone remembers to applaud so if you are depending on the whims of others, you will not be satisfied.

Anyway is a neat little book that delivers a big punch. Author Kent M. Keith is a prime example of how the paradoxical principles work. These principles were first written when Keith was a student at Harvard in the 1960’s. Since then, unbeknownst to him, they have been quoted, circulated and appropriated by countless people. When Keith learned that his Paradoxical Commandments had traveled the globe and had even been taped upon the walls of Mother Teresa’s children’s home in Calcutta, he was moved to put them in this modern credo for living well, being happy…and doing good anyway.

Write it down,
Carma

Paradoxical Commandment #8

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build Anyway.

I find this commandment difficult to take in because it is so harsh. Nothing lasts forever. However, I believe that this commandment speaks to the act of building for that is what brings joy and satisfaction. Consider the sand castle. What is more temporary than that? In one day your castle complete with moat and tower is melted away with a miniature tidal wave. You knew this would happen but you built it anyway. Why?

Perhaps you were building for the joy of creating something with your family or friends. Perhaps you were building memories.

Are you building your business to last forever? Have you thought about that? What kind of legacy are you building or will your business die when you do?

When you develop something of substance or value, whether it be an organization of people or a building made of stone and glass, it is the intangible things that will be remembered long after.

I think Kent Keith explains this commandment perfectly when he says:

“Of course, it is gratifying when what you have built last far into the future. But don’t forgo building just because it may not last. The joy and meaning that come with building will last. They will be yours forever.”

Write it down,

Carma

Paradoxical Commandment #6

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.

Our history books are full of men and women like Socrates... Columbus..., Lincoln..., Gandhi..., Susan B. Anthony..., Martin Luther King, Jr... who have had big ideas and were shot down literally or figuratively by smaller people. People who laughed at them, locked them up or killed them.

A “small person” is one who sees life in small terms and usually a good friend and hard worker. Also, a small person clings to the way things have always been without asking Why? A small person has usually mastered his own routine and doesn’t want it to change? Do you recognize this trait in anyone you know?

Not all big ideas are successes but we don’t know what will work until we give it an honest try. People and organizations need dreams. What do you think mission and vision statements are? They are big ideas and dreams about what could or should be. Do you have a vision or mission statement? Vision statements give you a reason to learn and grow.

Kent Keith writes in Anyway “Big ideas have established freedom, saved lives, protected the natural environment, provided new services, created jobs….enhanced the quality of life for millions of people”

We have big problems and we need big solutions. We need people who can look beyond the status quo. Are you one of those people? If you are reading this, I believe you are. If you are a self-publisher (blogger) I believe you are.

Write it down,

Carma

Paradoxical Commandment #5

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.

We live in a world of conflict and we learn to protect ourselves by putting up a wall of “polite pretending” to keep people out when we have been injured.

Tact is important. I wouldn’t recommend telling some one off, just because it was an honest emotion. Some words should never be said. Also, being able to keep confidences are an important part of a persons character.

When Kent Keith talks about being vulnerable, he is talking about using common sense and tact as you build strong relationships in your organizational life and your family. Keith says, "Vulnerability can be a door to new relationships, new opportunities, new ways to grow, and new ways to live and work together. "

Write it down,
Carma

Paradoxical Commandment #4

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Much of the good work you do will be remembered for a short time. The most important thing to remember is who you are and how you live.

Take the time to smile at the lady in the check stand, open the door for the person behind you at the bank, be the first person to start cleaning up after a meeting. More than likely no one will notice but you will be making some ones life happier in small ways.

I think CanadianChristine’s post God and the Chocolate ice cream is a good supplement to the Paradoxical Commandment #4. So many of us are looking for meaning and one way to obtain personal meaning is to do good anyway. Therefore this little video is quite inspiring. We all need to pay attention to our spiritual well being.

Write it down,
Carma

Paradoxical Commandment #3

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

This commandment alludes to positional success. For instance if you become a department head or an elected official, you will meet two kinds of friends: personal and positional and true enemies. Positional friends are good for business. This type of friend is loyal to the cause, ideology, issue, etc. and who ever fills the position will gain their support. In other words, they are on the payroll. A personal friend does not need an explanation. For the most part, true enemies will attack anyone who fills your position. In many cases it is not always personal.

A successful person is also vulnerable to public criticism because somebody else wants your success. They don’t want it so that they can be in your shoes, rather they are resentful of anyone who succeeds. You become the target because the attack on you is not about you it is about them. However, other people attack because they are upset you do not agree with them. Does this sound familiar?

I was the target of unkind personal attacks not too long ago. However, I hung in there and completed my term of office anyway. Therefore, I know the difficulty in practicing this Paradoxical Commandment. Succeed Anyway. In the end you are better for it.

Write it down,
Carma

How Good is Good?

The Bible teaches that we should “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Otherwise known as “The Golden Rule”. What goes around comes around…. Eventually…. Always. However, it may not be on your time line.

Paradoxical Commandment #2: If You do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

Time and time again I have witnessed people trying to get what they can for themselves. Haven’t you noticed that people who act on their own ulterior motives are the same people who accuse others of doing the same thing?

Remember that the best reward for doing good things for other people is the satisfaction and personal meaning you will derive from it. If you simply “pretend” to be doing good things for people under false pretenses you may reap monetary values but your integrity will suffer.

You know the term “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”. When we say this, we are saying “I will only help you if I get what I want”.

Therefore, it will not be easy to take up the “Do Good Anyway” mantra, because bad habits and cynicism are embedded deep down in our psyche. Further, what ever we do often, we are inclined to do more and what ever we stop doing, as time passes, we will have less inclination for.

Doing Good appears to be contrary to the way the world operates. Trust has gone out the window. Common sense is non-existent. A baby cries and some one yells shut up!... I don’t think you will find this attitude from people in the blogosphere where I hang out.

The blogosphere is full of people Doing Good Anyway. Every page I turn shows a page full of giving. Liz Strauss at Successful Bloggers comes to my mind and in her “12 Detailed Checklists to Spit Shine and Promote your Blog” post, she demonstrates a perfect example of the “Do Good Anyway” mantra. Not only does she tell us Vovo at Business Traffic Ideas gave her the idea for the post, she tells us Patrick Schaber at The Lonely Marketer spotted the idea originated by Matt McGee over at Small Business SEM.

There are so many more. Check them out and you will find how giving they are.
Design Your Writing Life
The Golden Pencil
Make It Great with Phil Gerbyshak
Sylvia's Insight
Thoughts and Philosphies
Dwaud Miracle
The Lieurance Group
Roberta Ferguson

Just to name a few.

I know I will be immersed in the check list for a while. What a wealth of information for new bloggers or anyone who wants to spiff up their blog.

Write it down,
Carma

Anyway

Sylvia at Sylvia’s Insight asked the question “What kind of friend do you want to be?”

We cannot be personal friends to every person we meet and it takes courage to be a friend in this crazy world when nothing seems to make sense. However, YOU can make sense in this crazy world by finding personal meaning.

Today I picked up a little book titled Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments: Finding Personal meaning in a crazy world by Kent M. Keith.

Paradoxical Commandment #1 People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered – Love them anyway

The uniqueness of this book is that it doesn’t focus on wealth, success or fame. Instead it focuses on the personal meaning we get when we perform good acts because it is the "right thing to do."


In his introduction, Author Kent M. Keith says, “The Paradoxical Commandments are not morbid or pessimistic. If you do what is right and good and true, you will often be appreciated for your contributions. But if you can find personal meaning without the world’s applause, you are free. You are free to do what makes sense to you, whether or not others appreciate it. You are free to be who you really are. You are free to be who you were meant to be.”

We all know people who are unreasonable, selfish and demanding and just plain hard to love. Does this mean they are not worthy of love? What if we loved them anyway?

Love comes in many forms; affection, friendship, fondness and passion to name a few. Also when experiencing extreme difficulty with other people who are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered, remember this simple saying, “There are three answers to every question: Yours, mine, and the right one.”

“Anyway” teaches a great lesson. The good that you do in life will become a source of personal meaning for YOU even when others forget. This does not mean that you look at life through “rose colored glasses” it just means that you can make the world a better place with out depending on applause.

Join the Anyway challenge, click here to download "The Anyway Challenge" Certificate.

Tomorrow I will post Paradoxical Commandment #2.



Write it down,

Carma

The Human Condition

Samuel Beckett (1906 - 1989)

'Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again.

Fail again. Fail better.'
~Samuel Beckett

Hope Clark at Funds for Writers, prompted me to comment on Samuel Beckett this evening with the above quote.

Is this a pessimistic statement from Beckett or can we catch sight of the positive in it? Some readers might say Beckett meant that nothing in life matters because we are all destined to fail. Or does it mean that when we do fail we should learn from it and move forward?

I am not familiar with Beckett’s work so I did a little research. I found that Samuel Beckett was a talented writer, poet and screenplay writer and very unhappy. I also realized that he cared deeply about The Human Condition,

The Human Condition is a philosophical problem. Only human beings ask themselves questions relating to the purpose of life beyond the base need for survival, or the nature of existence. Why was I born? Why am I here? Where will I go when I die?

There are some things that cannot be understood. Maybe we should just learn to "Be" and learn to "Accept" and learn to (at the risk of being too simplistic) "Bloom Where You are Planted"

There are 4 things in life you cannot recover:

1. The Stone, after the throw

2. The word, after it’s said

3. The occasion, after the loss

4. The time, after it’s gone

Write it down,

Carma